


Heartbeat

by CelesteJEvans



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Anticipation, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14604429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelesteJEvans/pseuds/CelesteJEvans
Summary: A pulse in the earth that calls out. Waiting for the two halves to reunite.





	Heartbeat

It’s there when you wake up in the morning. You open your eyes in sync with the buzzing of your alarm clock and the pulse begins as though it never stopped. You think it’s a treat to roll over and go back to sleep but you never do. Instead, you slap the alarm off with a swinging arm and take a deep breath before placing your tired feet on the hardwood floor. It’s cold. It’s always cold, come rain or shine – which here seems to be mostly rain. The pulse sings at the back of your neck as you pad towards the washroom. It has been there for as long as you can remember; like an old friend. As you walk to work, as you sip your coffee, as you smile at the cute barista who’s put three little hearts beside your name. A reminder that something isn’t right.

You stare in the mirror as your brush your teeth. Around and around. Perhaps today is the day you change your hairstyle. Maybe you’ll wear something different. The steady beat continues as you finish your morning routine. Brush your hair, wash your face; _remember_.

Remember to pick up milk on your way back. All you have in the fridge is juice and wine and you should eat something other than toast and leftovers this week. Maybe you’ll go shopping. You keep intending to buy more fruits and vegetables but you never follow through. Why bother when you’re cooking for one?

Your breakfast is stale. No matter how much butter and peanut butter you slather on, your bread is bland. You listen to the beating under your skin instead of the morning traffic on the radio. It doesn’t affect you in any way. You’re not going far. You could walk there if you wanted. Maybe you will.

You don’t want to linger in your apartment. It’s too quiet sometimes. You’ve thought about getting a cat but then remember that you hate having others rely on you. It’d be nice to have someone to come home to, though.

You put on the same coat and pull the same hair from under the collar, grab your car keys and begin your descent into the belly of the beast, the crowded sidewalk full of the same people you brush past every single day.

It’s a heartbeat, you realized one day; the pulse that starts in your head and seeps through your skin. It’s a heartbeat. It doesn’t quite match your own. It’s someone else’s; reaching out to you. Who? Who could possibly be longing for you so much that you feel them with you every day and yet you couldn’t pick them out of a crowd.

It’s ridiculous to think so whimsically; but sometimes you let yourself indulge in the fanciful. Today is one of those days. You think of castles, and magical forests, and true love as you walk the few blocks to where you’ve parked your car. It’s a brief interlude from daily life but it’s your favourite secret – that you’re not all you appear to be.

Hours have passed. You’ve drunk your fourth cup of coffee. And the pulse has not subsided. In fact, it’s getting stronger. Just a little but you notice. Not enough to let it consume more than a thought but the heartbeat has grown stronger. Perhaps it is just wishful thinking. It would be nice for something interesting to happen.

You’re home now. You have a date tonight – or what you’re calling a date but is really just a gathering of people who eat a meal at the same time. You don’t date as often as you think you should but it never feels right. If you’re going to invest all of that time and energy, it should feel right.

As you shower, you wash away the thoughts of the day and think only of your next task: A good first impression. You wear the same dress you wear when you are going to a restaurant as nice as this one. It’s not always so formal. You like dressing up but – could you imagine living the rest of your life in this world? Sometimes, when you’re behind on your rent and the creepy landlord won’t fix your broken sink, your answer is a resounding “yes”. But those days are few and far between. More often than not, you can admit to yourself, you wouldn’t belong there. Some days you feel you don’t belong where you are.

It just doesn’t feel right. Like you’re missing something.

Your date went as well as can be expected. He was charming as ever until you told him the truth. And then he bolted. To be honest, it’s exactly how you imagined the night would end – you even prepared for such an eventuality. It still stung.

The drive back to your apartment is slow. You leave the music off in favour of listening to the other heartbeat. The one that can be unrelentingly loud if you let it. Now, it’s a steady pulse, breathing just under your skin. The closer you get to your front door, the stronger it is – like the source is waiting inside for you. But you’re too exhausted; too tired to care. You’re done waiting and hoping. You left that behind so many years ago, there’s no going back. Now, every day is the same. Like clockwork, you can plan the bad days. Today was not a bad day but you’ve had better.

The pulse is louder now, practically ringing in your ears. You just want to go to bed. But there’s one more thing before you do. Before you can wash off your make up. Before you carefully hang up one of your only good dresses. Before you chide yourself for forgetting milk. You need to remember.

There’s a knock at the door.

Something akin to curiosity – hope? – has you turning the knob before your mind can catch up. And then, he’s there.

“Uh, can I help you?”

“Are you Emma Swan?”

“Yeah, who are you?”

“My name’s Henry. I’m your son.”

The pulse stops.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in preparation for the series finale. I was thinking of the anticipation/excitement of the pilot and how everything changed with a simple knock. It's been a very adventurous seven years. I hope you enjoyed it!


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